Somehow, Somewhere we have misplaced Evie's lovey - Her toy elephant "Ellie" to me this is so bittersweet, on one hand that toy was filthy and I dreaded taking it anywhere for fear people would think I let my daughter play with gross toys like that all the time. Then there was the part of me that knew that that little matted, faded, chipped eyed, scrub rag of a toy was very dear to evelyn and how much she loved it. Part of me loved it too knowing that it was a security thing, Evie used it for comfort in times when she couldn't have me.
Tears are welling up in my eyes as I write this.
I have no clue where her Ellie might have gone. I do know she had it at daycare and then the night before last she might have brought it home, but in the rush I don't remember if we had it on not when we left. It was not at daycare as of yesterday, we did a comb of the house with no result, I cleaned the car from top to bottom, No ellie.
Evelyn's story she keeps saying is that she "Threw Ellie in the woods and a bear ate her" Now we certianly have enough woods in these parts, but we haven't been traipsing around in them lately, I have driven the kids to and from daycare and that's basically been it.
Spencer mentioned that maybe she may have thrown it out the window as I was driving and since there are trees on the sides of the road she thought "woods"
Hell I don't know...!
Is it wrong for me to mourn "Ellie" like this...? I am crazy to the hilt aren't I..?
I am hoping by some freak miracle that we find her, even if she is sopping wet lying somewhere even filthier than she was ( is that even possible...? )
Another round of tearing apart the house when I get home.
If I knew the brand of the toy I would try to get a hold of the manufacturer and get a replacement, although it wouldn't be the same without the imprint of Evelyn's love on it..!
Sappy Sappy mommy stories.!!
Bleh!

Some good news : I am paying my car off today, so that is one less bill we will have over the winter, and the car insurance will go down because I can lower the coverage from "Full" to "PL/PD" If the car ( a 96 Chrysler concorde) was actually worth something I would consider keeping the full coverage, but as it stands, it's not. So the insurance payment will go down now and then in December when Ryan turns 25 ( I am paying a higher premium because Ryan is still considered a "minor" or whatever.)

Oh and by The way... WHO is reading from Escanaba...? - I have a guess, But am not sure... Make yourself known ok...? Sign the guestbook or notes page, Hell, being that we are so close in proximity lets get together and have coffee sometime... Still wracking my brain about the "Disappearing Ellie" It's depressing that I am taking it harder than Ev is ( or so it appears )
I have been trying to rationalize that if she did toss her out the window as we were driving, she would have realized right away and yelled for me to stop and turn around and get her.
It's not like she doesn't have other lovies, But Ellie was special.... Poor Ellie, Poor Evie, and Poor Mommy...
I actually shed a few tears when I was on the phone with Ryan last night about it... He told me that it's just probably PMS. ( how thoughtful of him to remember my cycle, RIGHT...! )
Some days are just better than others I guess.