Ryan got a new place ... have i mentioned.. it's cute, a little efficiency... I was proud of him, getting out on his own and all...
Then I found out that he's moving "the homewrecker down to live with him the weekend after next... how wonderful...
It has been really shaking me up tonight. I know i shouldn't care but it bothers me so much.. maybe it isn't normal... I don't care it's how i feel.
My ex is coming into town the week of thanksgiving and Ryan was gonna take the kids for a few days ... now i am torn... do I let him knowing she is gonna be there...? Since he left he has seen them a total of 2 times, one of those times was on Monday when I brought the papers for the divorce and served him...
I hate so much that she is gonna be there... I am so stupid but I can't get it out of my head... Up until now we have been so civil...
Tonight we were talking on IM and I basically went ballistic when I found out she was moving in ... I threatened him with not letting the kids come since she was gonna be there.
Am I being petty...? I don't know... Why can't i just move on...?
Sucks also that I am basically in a NON relationship status..
I see Dom like every few days and we have gotten closer over the time, but I am still just basically a booty call... I know I can't expect much more, That is what it has been like and I knew from the beginning it was only gonna be that, but I think I have fallen for him a bit... When we are together we hang out and talk and lie in bed after the whole DEED and he strokes my face and pushes my hair back and kisses me while we pillow talk.. it's weird. He is so young and that is why he isn't wanting anything more in the way of a commitment and if I were him i probably wouldn't either
I am lonely, I know it hasn't been that long, but I am craving a relationship so badly... I also know that right now isn't the best time to get serious... so I have just been trying to focus on the kids and everything else...
So yea I think I am gonna let him take the kids for a few days before Thanksgiving... Being the bigger person sucks... But at least Spence and Ev are old enough that I will get a in depth play by play when they get home... they have BIG mouths I won't even have to ask them...